Monday, October 24, 2011

Be brave and fight.

Why every time go home must argue? It's holiday, i back home with joys and happiness in hope to meet my parents but the result always disappoint me. I am sorry mother, very sorry to her. Every time mention about this topic, we can't stop arguing. I try my best to explain but they never give me the chance as they never open their heart and mind to listen. Oh Allaah... just if You say 'YES', grant them Hidayah, everything will be just fine. Our conversation end up just like that... remain silence.

Today, staying in the same hotel room. She stopped me from making my prayer and chased me out to the Surau ground floor. I did not leave and I told her that The Lord is everywhere not just in Surau. She said i am not a tolerate daughter and i have a ‘autocratic' Lord. How could Allah burden His followers by forcing them pray 5 times per day. How sad i was. I am quite a hot-tempered person and of course i fight back. But then i found my words quite harsh. "I am not like you, pray in certain days and just when you are free. How could your God forgive you. If yes, you better forget about this kind of religion." I was so regret when said so because i know i must have hurt her. Anyhow, final deal, she gives me  less than 5mins for Solat Subuh as she don't want to see me dressed in telekung in such early morning. She hates it. Yah, I purposely wanna solat infront of them because i want them to know, how peaceful and easy a Muslim pray. ( she thought i need to azan loudly in the room and take up to 30mins -.-)

Flashing back the incident, i realized that i become more tougher than those days. At least i don't cry when argue especially while confronting with my parents. This i should thanks to those who taught me indirectly during the days in IPTB... and alhamdulillah, my faith in HIM getting stronger. I don't want my life to be forever in so called 'darurat' period, i have to stand up and fight, though i am alone as i found out my sister is no longer stand at my side because i hurt my parents lots.

I have a great family... but still i always jealous with others. Appreciate, my friends. Hopefully one day later i will be same like you.

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